The Assignment

I opened my email today and found an assignment waiting in my inbox. I hate assignments. Mostly because I hate being told what to do, but also because I don't have very good control over my emotions. If I'm angry and in a dark place, please don't ask me to write about puppy dogs and rainbows and expect that it's going to be a happy tale.

This time the assignment is asking us to write like we were able to conquer the fears that were plaguing us last time, which is great for me since I have. The sender also let it be known that smut was a plus, which made me wonder if she had a window into my mind.

I want to say that peeking into my mind must have been like wandering through catacombs. There are lots of dark passageways, murky pools of water you must wade through in order to get a good look around, and the rooms! Ah, the rooms where my many personalities lurk. Last week the lost, sad, insecure little girl ruled the roost. This week, well, this week's escapee is my dirty little whore of an alter ego.

More often than not you'll see a devilish smirk on my face when I'm in this zone. I think a lot, and talk very little. I'm very much in my own head when she's in control. I can't walk by a mirror without admiring my curvy figure, black hair, smokey eyes. In this mood, I lust after myself. In this mood I own the adjectives striking and exotic. I don't stomp about in my heavy doc martin boots, I slink like a cat. I see things that usually go unnoticed. I feel the eyes on me. I don't just see them looking at me, I notice that the moment they look at me, they hold their breath, they pause mid conversation, their eyes widen ever so slightly.

I don't always command such a reaction. It's only when she's in control. Wait. This is weird, it's weird to be talking about myself saying she. I may be one of many, but right now as I type, I am the one in control. I've seized the reins and have literally locked the others away for now. I'll tell you quite proudly that I'm un-fucking-stoppable. I am the baddest bitch in this house and there is nothing and no one that I can't have.

Let me loose! Let me roam, and prowl, and hunt. Let me slink about the club with the self satisfied smile on my face and fucking hunt!!! Take me to the Abby and watch me work. Watch me as I effortlessly find myself dancing with a beautiful girl. Watch as she puts her small delicate hands on me. Her pale hands on my waist as she bites her lip and looks up at me. Watch as I kiss her. Watch as I awaken something primal inside of her. Watch as I cast my spell. It's dark and crowded on the dance floor, but still I know her face is flushed. I can feel the warmth rising off her cheeks. Watch as her hands slip up, from my waist to my breasts. She has forgotten where she is, and that her friends are watching. She has forgotten that she doesn't even know my name.

Even if she could remember all these things right now, it wouldn't matter. She wants me. She wants to feel me, she wants to taste me, and as her lips leave mine and her busy little hands search for my breasts and her hungry little lips are not far behind, I strain my neck so that I can bite hers. Lucky for you, right now you reside inside my head. Lucky for you you get to feel my teeth against her neck. You get to feel her sudden exhale on my breasts. You can even feel how my nipples tingle as they constrict.

Doesn't that feel good? You can feel it, right? Enter my head, it's ok. You hear the music? So loud, and yet at the same time so far away. It's her breath that's doing it. The hot quick puffs alternating from her mouth and nose, and the feeling of her lips on my skin. Soft plump lips gently sucking and searching. Her fingers desperately tugging against the collar of my shirt so she can run her tongue over my nipples.

Feel the softness of her skin as my hand slips up her shirt. Her body is hot, and my hands are cold leaving a trail of goosebumps behind in my wake.

Sorry to leave you stranded!! I should have finnished writing instead of wandering off to have sex. Now I can't pick it up where I left off no matter how hard or long (it's been a few days) I try. The bad ass bitch said fuck u peeps I'm tired and slunk off to bed. I don't know when she'll be back, but since I do know she's only interested in the now, she's not going to come back and finnish this. Instead she'll be daydreaming of vampires, or steam punk, or wild orgies, or all three.